16 July 1997
I am rather new to the lifestyle of BDSM. I have always thought that
all these feelings i felt inside me were not normal. Over a year ago
i connected with the Internet and met a Dominant who told me that how
i felt and reacted to certain situations where a Master was in control
over me was not un-normal but actually feelings of submission.
This was a very big relief to me... and now i let myself explore my inner
self and let these feelings surface. Since then i have met my new online
Master and he has been exceptionally wonderful to me. He lets me explore
my feelings of submission to their fullest helping me to understand
To me there has to be total trust of my Master to totally surrender
myself. I love being owned and controlled. There is a certain deep inner
feeling that comes over me like a sub-space. Certain things that he says
puts me right in this sub-space and for me this is such a sexual turn on.
I have experienced bondage and whippings.
A lot of the turn on for me is not just when i physically surrender
myself totally to my Master but also mentally. When my Master talks to
me during the actual scenes telling me how happy he is with my submission
and how it makes him feel... sends me deeper into my sub-space. When i
have done wrong i accept my punishments and before and during them he
lets me know that it is because he cares for me and when he is done he
comforts me. I enjoy being a slave physically, mentally and sexually
and desire to someday live this in my life 24/7.